Rape in The Army: I Never Thought It Would Be Me

This is another traumatic event in my life. I decided after high school that I wasn't ready for college, given I had lived a very sheltered and controlled life. I wanted to get out and do something big. So I joined the Army as a EMT. My first duty station was Fort Wainwright, in Fairbanks Alaska. I arrived in July 2001, signed in late on a Friday so not many people were around. But the NCOIC at the time welcomed me, we made small talk and he asked if I had plans for dinner? I didnt as I had just signed in for my barracks room. He said bring a change of clothes, So i agreed to go have dinner with a GROUP of his friends. We stopped by the bank, store, and then we were at his house, he said he just needed to grab something and to wait in the truck. I did. He came out and told me that there was a message on his machine that the guys bailed cause their wives pitched a fit. So it was just him and I. He seemed really cool, friendly and I never suspected anything. We had chinese food for dinner and then he asked me if I wanted to see something cool, I said sure. He blind folded me, led me up stairs, we walked a little ways and then made a turn into what was his bedroom, he said no peeking, dont take the blindfold off he'd be right back. So I just stood there.........

What seemed to be hours, I took the blindfold off and realized I was in his bedroom. I went for the door and it was locked, the sun had gone down by now and i panicked. Started BEATING on the door and nothing, so i sat there till he came back. When he came back he had a deli plate and a glass of water, I asked him why he locked me in there and he said that the door sometimes gets stuck. I stood up to leave, realizing I didnt know where I was as I had just gotten off the plane 12 hrs ago. I asked him to take me home. He said he would after I ate the sandwich and drank my water. Eager to go home. I did as requested.


After that, the lights went out, I had fallen asleep. He drugged me with a roofie.
I remember as my body was being moved and shifted I saw two faces, not one, he wasnt alone and then i was out. That was after 10:00pm friday, I didnt wake up till sunday. I had breif moments my eye lids would slant open, I saw him on top of me, back out, woke up again saw a man i had never seen before over me and i was out....

I awoke Sunday with my arms and legs tied to the bed, one on each bed post. I was naked. I SCREAMED and he came running in, told me to calm down and that he would not untie me until i made an agreement that I would not say anything to anyone. I said I want my clothes, he said I can have the CLEAN set I brought with me. My other clothes were gone.

I agreed. I got dressed, he drove me back to the barracks and told me. "See you tomorrow" and drove away.

I was so alone, I knew no one.

Monday came, He was there as well as the other man that was there. Turns out both were NCO's that were in my new chain of command. One was my platoon SGT. the other my Squad Leader. The next two years were hell.

Once again my TRUST was taken by those who were my authority figures

For those of you that have lived through this experience, what was it like to start having sex again? Did you ever panic or have a flashback in the middle of the act? Then those of you that are in the same position I am, don't fret to message me. :)

Also, have you ever had such a high level of sexual chemistry with someone after your rape? It's really confusing for me. It's like my heart wants to dive for it but my head keeps shooting back images of my rapist, and also my stepfather, who I trusted. How did you trust again?

A week later I met my husband.............life has been great since but I still carry the heavy burden of what 3 men have done to me. I still feel violated.....

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