Deployment 2: duration: 15 months: 2007-2009

Generally in the Army there is a rule. Soldiers must be boots on ground for 365 days before deploying again. We literally found out about him getting deployed 2 WEEKS before he was to ship out. 2 WEEKS. Talk about panic!! I had been seeing a psychiatrist and was medicated and was not worried like I had been the first time. I slowly processed it, we spent as much time together and simply enjoyed each others company. The kids took it hard, my son was 3 and my daughter was 2 (they seem close certain times of the year, but they are 22 months apart) Not only did I have to hold it together for them, I was battling my own demons in my head. My kids NEVER saw me cry once. I made a promise to myself that I needed to be strong and they needed to see that everything was ok, that mommy was ok, and if mommy is ok, that means daddy's ok.

I cried. Alot. Everyday. In the shower, I would curl up in a ball while the hot water steamed up the bathroom and I would cry so hard, my heart hurt, i missed my very best friend. I was tired of sleeping alone with a 95 lb dog on his side of the bed. I was just tired of everything!!! My son had begun to act out about a month after my husband left. Nothing compared to the terrible twos, no way, it was much more serious. As I began learning about my illness I had done alot of research and found that mothers who are bipolar pass the gene to the children. I began to wonder if my son was experiencing the racing thoughts, anxiety, anger of daddy being gone, and being so little, being destructive, and violent ( I'm not kidding, he ripped a door of its hinges, put his fist through the wall, hurting his sister) it just wasnt normal behavior.

I found  a child psychiatrist that agreed to hear his case. Because he was so young most wouldn't even talk to me, so I felt such a relief when we saw who became his ongoing psychiatrist. Turns out my son has ADHD & Bipolar disorder (all thanks to me) toward the end of the deployment things were really bad and he had to go stay with my sister in law and her family (family care plan) He was there 2 months. He came home 3 days before daddy did in Jan 2009

Our 2nd deployment went so smoothly. There was nothing that would compromise my integrity or my relationship with my husband. I pray everyday, with him only having 7 years until retirement that we do not have any more deployments in our future. I have to say that the 2nd deployment made us closer than we had ever been. Only good things are to come.................

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