Confession # 1

Its hard for me to make and keep friends, its hard for me to say that but its true and has been a problem all of my life. My marriage is my longest relationship and or friendship in my life. I've learned that communication goes both ways in friendship & relationships as well. You share something, you get something back but the problem is that I feel like sometimes things that people tell me isn't really any of my business. I know it sounds kind of cold to say that but that is how I feel because I feel that a lot of stuff I do in my life isn't anyone else's business either. I don't know how to explain it, it's just weird. The friends I do make just seems to lose interest in me over time...very fast, like a few weeks, months, I have 2 friends that have been with me since 2007 on myspace. I love them to death. I've tried to make some friends over the internet and at first we would email each other back and forth for a couple of weeks and then suddenly they would stop emailing me and I would run out of topics to talk about. For example, my husband will say "Man my neck hurts" and I think he may have slept wrong and I say "Oh." Just typing this makes me laugh at myself for giving such a lame response but that is my typical answer and it just comes off so cold. I really do care but I just don't know how to respond. I guess part of it has to do with me being scared of saying things wrong. I talk so bluntly and honestly sometimes that I hurt others' when I never mean to. I don't really know how to make small talk either. I'm actually quite annoyed by it, I mean, why can't people skip all the diplomatic greetings and get to the point? I know that's not how it works but I like to skip the appetizers, dinner, and get straight to the dessert. Does anyone have similar feelings? find it hard to make friends???


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