Daughters Birth: October 2005

We had been married for 2 years (together for 4) before we were faced with a dreaded DEPLOYMENT. I wasn't sure how to react when he told me that he was leaving in October 2005. Let me back up a little. I had been pregnant with our daughter on bed rest the entire pregnancy when he told me that he was going to be leaving for 12 months. Ok, first off I flipped out telling him there was  no fucking way that he was leaving me with a 1 1/2 year old and a newborn. He was scheduled to leave 3 weeks before my due date of October 31. Then I went through the thought process of remembering how other soldiers were late deployers that were allowed to stay for the birth and then ship out. I was SURE that his command would let him. Man was I WRONG. They said no because it wasnt our first baby. I became so STRESSED and scared facing an impending deployment. The first time we have EVER been apart. As I mentioned before I was already on bed rest and a very high risk pregnancy, the stress sent me over the edge!! Psychologically I had a melt down (not the first time) but first time about a deployment. The doctors had me coming into the clinic daily for stress tests and had me on a good dose of hypertension (high blood pressure) medication. On September 21, 2005 I went in as usual at 9:30 am for my daily stress test. The beginning my blood pressure was high, after laying there for 30 mins, it continued to rise, they had me on a oxygen nasal cannula ( the little two tubes that blow out oxygen from a tank) and were telling me to try and relax, i  couldnt, I had sent my body into emotional shock and this was the result. After an hour of monitoring, they paged my OB doctor from L&D (Labor & Delivery) and he went over my heart recordings and my blood pressure. He looked at me, looked at my husband and said, "Your daughter is going to be premature, be prepared, but know that we have an excellent NICU if anything happens, but we cant wait any longer, your blood pressure is 189/136 ( normal numbers are 120/80) and remember I was on medication for it and it was still that high!! He told them to get me up to L&D immediately and he was booking the operating room for an emergency C-Section. I arrived at L&D & was quickly stripped and hooked up to numerous machines. They also gave me an injection of steroids that was in hopes to develop and grow our little daughters lungs. The biggest problem with premature babies is that their lungs are under developed and are unable to breathe. So I'm laying there, stressed, crying & SCARED, all the while my husband is making arrangements for a close family friend to take our son, as he was with us at the hospital. We didnt know we were having a baby that day, so as always, my husband is reassuring me that everything will be ok, that our son was going to be with our friend, he went and got his carseat and handed him over to Stephanie. So now after that happened it was just me and my hubby waiting for the operation room to become free. Not long after, i was wheeled into the OR, was asked to move over to the HARD COLD table. so I sat there straddling the table as the dr was telling me what he was going to be doing. I first tasted metalic pennnies in my mouth and he then administered my spinal block and told me to scoot down...........I did.........the wrong way, by then the spinal block kicked in and they had to move me because i couldnt move from the chest down. I was laid back on the table, IV was flowing with medictions, the blue tarp was placed so that I could not see what was going on and in walked my hubby, in full scrubs, head to toe. all I could see was his eyes. He sat down on my left side and took hold of my hand and looked into my teary eyes and promised me that our little girl was going to be just fine and to try and relax. Time seemed to stop as we awaited to hear that wonderful loud scream. About 10 mins later after alot of tugging, pushing and pressure from them cutting, we heard a loud pissed off newborn scream at 3:33 pm. I sighed with such relief as if the world was lifted from my shoulders. I was so happy. They quickly wrapped her up, brought her to me for just 30 seconds and then rushed her to the NICU. I was so worried/eager to find out how much she weighed and how healthy she was being so early. The doctors worked on diligently sewing the 6 inch incision they had just made on my low abdomen. 30-40 mins later they moved me to recovery for an hour and then I was placed in my own hospital room. ALONE. I had heard nothing about my daughter. My husband was in with her & the doctors & I lay in a bed unable to walk...........I tried to watch tv for a while and kept calling my nurse telling her i want to go see my daughter, she said she had to do something and would be back in about 10-15 mins. So i waited..........waited..........it was now 6:30..............waited..........7:45...........I said FUCK IT. I slowly turned my body to place my feet on the floor (I had a c-section with my son so i know what to do and not to do and the pain that comes with it) I grabbed hold of my IV stand stood up bent at the waist, due to incision and I SLOWLY walked down to the NICU. As I passed the nurses station they all jumped out of their chairs and immediately started coddleing me, telling me that I wasnt allowed to walk. I yelled at them and said "Let me fucking go!! Dont touch me. I have been waiting almost 6 HOURS to see my daughter. Back Off!! So I continued to the NICU, got there, they verified who I was and directed me to a chair. I sat down next to a thermal incubator, I was expecting the worst. My husband and mother in law were there, she had gotten on the 1st available flight after my hubbys phone call after delivery. So my husband & mother in law got to hold my daughter before I did........I was PISSED but that quickly faded when the nurse handed me my daughter. She was hooked up to so many things and had an IV in her tiny hand. She was beautiful. A head FULL of solid black hair. She was 6 lbs 3 oz and was 21 inches long. I cried. I was so blessed. I wasnt allowed to hold her long but she was perfect. She stayed in the NICU for 7 days. Talk about lucky!! Most preme babies spend 2 months in the NICU. But she was doing so well they felt she could come home. She passed the car seat test and the feeding test. We brought her home on the 27th of October 2005, 6 days after birth. My husband got to spend 2 weeks with her before he was to be taken away from us for 12 months!!!

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